My interests are not mainstream and when I came across this interesting article at the 'Dying to Live Again Foundation website' with a different perspective on Alzheimer's I just had to post it. It is the view of 90 year old woman who has died and found a way to talk to her daughter and explain the last years of her life from the perspective beyond the grave.
Patricia on Alzheimer’s
Patricia is a 90 year old woman who had died a few months earlier after having Alzheimer’s for 20 years. She is speaking to her daughter.
I am so excited, my dear one. I can’t tell you how much I’ve been trying to get to you. I know that there are ways that you can kind of feel me and know that I’m around but you’re not sure what it is all about. Do I have a message? What’s going on? So I can tell you right now that I just wanted you to know I’m with you all. I love you all. Just because my body is not there anymore doesn’t mean that I don’t feel that connection. I actually had the most unusual of lives and I wanted to speak to you about that so you would recognize that what happened to me in terms of the illness is not some misfortune or random act that was a tragic kind of turn. I want you to get that there was something about me that was very agreeable to that. I know that sounds strange to you. When you would have such an ability to live life more vibrantly and more in touch with things, why would you choose to be in such a state of dysfunction? I know that if I were looking at me the same way you are I would ask the same thing. Why would anybody get any value whatsoever out of living through what I did these last twenty years before I left? So I’m going to give you a different view – not only so you’ll hear it and know it is true but so you can reach out and help others when the time comes. For you will have a great amount to say in this line of work. You will be pulled into the energy with others who are suffering through what I did. You’re going to give them and their loved ones an entirely different view because you’ll be able to see them with a different eye.
I want you to know that there was a part of my brain that was already pre-dispositioned to this. I know that you’re kind of thinking; well, what about me? Is that going to happen for me? Do I have that genetic code? I’m going to say genes are only a very small part of this. So even if somebody tells you you’re genetically inclined to get this, don’t believe them. It doesn’t matter. It’s what you ask at this level that matters. At the level that you exist at as the essence and soulful being you are, just like me, you don’t have the same inclination. You do not want the experience I wanted. So back to that, you have to ask me, “Mom, why is it you would want such an experience?” and I’m going to tell you. First of all, you have so many lives to live, honey. I can’t tell you how much excitement there is with each new one you step in to. That’s why you don’t care how long you live. You don’t really care at the soul level what’s going on in your life. You just know: oh boy! I get to go to the earth and have an experience of being human. It’s such a beautiful thing that you get excited about it. You love it. You jump up and down.
Well, I’m not saying everybody but most of us do. Most of us who try the human world out love it. Now there are some who come in who do not feel that way – their sense of duty and obligation to the Universe is to help - so they say, “All right, I’ll go into the human condition and live” but they are much fewer. The rest of us all jump up and down for joy and say, “Yes, I want to go.” So when we do we are not set up with a list that says, “I don’t want any diseases that are bad. I don’t want to have trouble. I don’t want to fall into some sort of disarray with other people and on and on.” We don’t say that as souls. We say clearly, “Bring it on. Let’s have the experience. Let’s see what it is going to be about in this life.” I had some beautiful experiences. I had all of you who I love so dearly. I had so much that was full and rich in my life that when I reached the age I did when the whole condition, or the illness as we call it, set in I wasn’t all thrown out of whack. I didn’t just say, “Oh no, what doom.” Now, of course, I had some opinions about it. When you talked to me about it in the early stages you know that. But, on the other hand, there was a part of me that said, “All right. I’m in for this ride. I fully and completely give over to it. I surrender to what the experience is going to be” and I did.
I found myself reaching out, especially when it got to that place where I didn’t know anyone and the memory was so gone. It was in exactly those moments that I was travelling, my dear. I was out there in so many different dimensions, so many different fields of experiences, that there aren’t even words that I could come back into my body and explain to you. I couldn’t sit there and tell to you - this is where I was, this is what happened, this was unbelievable because there are no words. There is no language that you have in your human world, or me when I was there as human, that you would have possibly understood where I was travelling. The travelling was amazing and, yes, it was something that was beneficial to me. I loved being able to then enter back into the flesh and blood of the body. You might ask, “Well, why? If you couldn’t do anything, you couldn’t remember anything, you couldn’t interact in a functional way like you used to, what good was it to travel in all those dimensions and then come right back into a flesh and blood that wasn’t doing anything?” I’m going to do the best I can to describe this and I know it isn’t going to satisfy you.
Let me tell you that sometimes there are parts of your life that you live on the earth where your intention is not to do anything. Really and truly. Sometimes you are just fine with a turn of events that says, “You can stop thinking. You can stop moving. You can stop making anything have to happen according to the rules that you’ve been living by.” So there was great value in me just laying there. I want you to see this because I want you to let go of this part of me, this part of my life - the part of your mother who existed in such a way that seemed so tragic and do difficult and depressing. I want you to see me differently. To realize that there was great value in the learning that I was having and there was a great sense of peace at being able to end up back in that body. Yes, to your eyes and to everybody else’s, it was seeming like I was just laying there but I really wasn’t. I was just in a place of repose, a place of surrender, and then I’d take off again. Off I’d be – out there traversing in ways that you have no idea and then would bring me such a sense of joy and fulfillment and, yes, inspiration. Then back into the body that was still, that was not doing anything, that was not moving in the usual way the human does.
So eventually I had enough of it. Eventually it was all that I required and all that I really cared to continue. So everything stopped. I shut down and no more my physicality would really work. But I want you to know and see the different part that I was living than you could possibly understand when you would observe me. I want you to begin to absorb this into your understanding of why certain souls choose such a condition as Alzheimer’s. I will also tell you that it will never be cured. It is not a condition that can be cured like a disease that has been conquered by our human interest. This is a condition of life that many souls seek, particularly when they get near the end of their lives, and it is a viable way to be. So it will not go away.
I just want her to know that I miss her. I hadn’t seen her for so long. I turned off to her when she was in that condition. I didn’t even go visit because what was the point. I want to make sure she didn’t take that personally.
Oh yes, that’s a whole other reason I wanted to talk to you too, dear. That whole guilt thing - it’s so overrated. Just stop it, will you? There’s nothing personal at all that I took or that anybody takes in that condition. That’s what I mean about you helping other people who have relatives and loved ones that are going through this condition. The guilt just gets real sticky and it gets in the way. Tell everyone that. I know you just basically said, “What’s the point? There’s really no need. I just feel bad and depressed when I go.” I was glad you made that decision because, let me tell you honey, I was travelling to where you were anyway. I was around you just like I am now when I no longer have a body. I was going everywhere and feeling the love of those who love me. That’s the way we live and exist when we’re not in the body.
What is just so amazing to me is that when we’re conscious, and when we’re all invested and involved in our human life, we don’t have any idea how there are so many different roads we can travel here. We can step out into the bizarre and the weird and the strange and it’s beautiful. It has a great meaning to us. So I loved being able to do that. No, I didn’t need you to come by and say, “Well, here I am - standing in the room looking at my immobile, non-functioning mother.” I didn’t need that at all. I was finding you, you were finding me on another level and we were happy with that.
So don’t, for one minute, think that just because you show up physically, or you don’t, that there is something good or bad about that. There really isn’t. When you get to the condition that I was in you are just as happy to have everyone go about the business of their life and just send the hellos to you. I could feel that. Every time you prayed or had a moment where you sent some thinking to me I felt it immensely – right to my heart – and I sent the love right back. That’s what happens, you know, and that’s why I’m so excited you are letting me through to say this.
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